Well 6 boxes arrived today...feels so permanent, but I am telling myself that it is not. Things still have time to turn around. I miss him so much, the old him, not this new version that seems to find being in the same room with me disgusting.
I spoke with my aunt yesterday and she said I need to remain his friend, make sure he knows that I am still there for him. I have told him this repeatedly and when he does send me the business-like emails, I always write back that I love him and that I want to work on things. I am done trying to figure out what to say and feel, I am just being myself and telling him what I want or need. He can deal with how he reacts to that. I can only control my side of things....it is up to him to figure out his side. I feel like I spent the last year making excuses for why he wasn't communicating with me and keeping things to myself and I am done with that. If I want him to know something, I am just telling him, and I am not done fighting for my marriage.
I love the man he is inside. I miss his smile.
No comments:
Post a Comment