These past few months have been pretty hard. Part of it is hormonal/tidal but at the same time, it is just a matter of me being able to keep it down better on some days than others. I am still wrecked and broken and that isn't going to change any time soon, if ever. I am still trying to keep the anger at bay when it rears its head, and not take all of it personally.
Part of what makes this hard, is being in our house, doing the kinds of things we normally would do together and having no input or support from him. It really feels like none of us are even on his mind at all, and if we are, it is only with anger. Fall is upon us and I am trying to get all the outdoor stuff done that I need to do before it gets too cold.
I had to send him a note a few days back because our taxes and insurance are coming up on the house. I have not heard anything but reality is that I can't afford to do it alone along with all the other things I am covering right now. I hope I hear back from him.
I still love him with all my heart, and miss him terribly. He is my one and only and always will be. I hope that his heart and mind heal soon so we can get our lives back on track.
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